Last week we related the concept of focusing on contribution rather than blame to the season of discover. This week I wanted to follow up with relating this to another Network concept – AAA.
Overall, taking blame out of the equation lowers defense and judgement, and this helps conversation and energy flow openly.
When we sense that we are being blamed, we tend to get defensive, and this stops the open flow of conversation. The same thing happens when we judge our situation or blame someone for the way it is, it stops the flow of energy. When we accept how things are without judgement, we let the energy flow and this opens the possibility for change.
A personal example is trying to get Sarah to stop blaming me for getting her pregnant and to instead acknowledge how we each contributed. It’s going ok so far:)
Here is a recap of AAA in case you have forgotten or have not heard this yet.
AAA stands for being Aware, Acknowledge and Accept. This formula can be applied to any situation that we don’t like the way it is.
Aware – you first need to be aware of the thing you don’t like or want to change.
Acknowledge – you have to admit or acknowledge the situation. Donny states this is best done out loud and its even better if you say it out loud to another person.
Accept- accept that it is what it is without judgement, blame or wishing it was different. Accept that it hasn’t changed yet.
Doing all 3 steps allows the energy to flow and opens the possibility for easier change. The last step can be the hardest. Here is an old newsletter about acceptance in layers. Link https://nextlevelchirodallas.com/acceptance-in-layers/
Let’s take a closer look at the 3 A’s we talked about last week.
You could argue that being aware the most important A as its the first step, and you won’t have an opportunity to acknowledge or accept something if you are not aware of it first. Without awareness, there is not much chance of change happening.
The second A or acknowledging that you are aware is usually the easiest step. This is best done out loud to another person, but you could also simply acknowledge it to yourself. A fun in-between is acknowledging something to yourself in the mirror. We also have an old blog post where we talk about journaling or writing our acknowledgements down as a substitute to doing this out loud.
Without a doubt, acceptance is the hardest A, and many people get stuck here. Non acceptance or denial takes a large amount of physic energy that can drain us over time. Overtime, there becomes a bigger and bigger gap between what we hope is true and what we fear is true, and this can create a shift in our body (usually in the pelvis). Eventually, the story becomes too painful, and we accept what is. This is when things can magically begin to change. Acceptance is very similar to ripping a bandaid off, it sucks at first but then it rapidly improves.
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